“Can I ask you something?”
Vansh turned towards her, looking amused. “When have I been able to stop you?”
Riddhima bit back an answering smile. She was perched on the teacher’s desk, her legs swinging back and forth, just like when she was a school girl. Vansh was standing by the window, his gaze towards the late afternoon sky. The sun had dramatically advanced from its daylight position in a short span of time; it seemed to be moving faster in this dream world.
“How does it feel…” she trailed off, wondering if there was a right way to ask this question. “How is it to…to…?”
Vansh gave a knowing smile as she shrugged helplessly.
‘Why do you have to be such a curious kitty, Riddhima?’ she berated herself mentally.
“How does it feel…to die?” he prodded her gently.
Her stomach churned. That word. How she hated that word.
“Riddhima, relax. I don’t mind talking about this.” He turned his back to her, looking once again towards the sky. “When I was…buried…I was just unconscious, lying in a box. When I woke, my head was on fire, and it was pitch black; the kind of darkness that settles on your chest and lies in wait, slowly creating a debilitating crushing fear. At first, I tried to stay calm, thinking of ways to get out. But no matter how much I pushed, kicked, scratched at the box, it didn’t give. I screamed till my throat was raw…but no one heard me. I don’t remember what finished first – my will or the air. But I think I just gave up and cried-“
He started as she touched his hand. “You didn’t deserve that,” she whispered, her throat hurting with unshed tears. “I am sorry, Vansh…so damn sorry…”
“Hey,” he chided softly, squeezing her hand. “Don’t feel sorry for me, darling. Telling you this story now…it almost feels like it happened to someone else. I’m not hurting anymore. And I would hate for it to hurt you now.”
She drew in a shaky breath, giving him a rueful smile. “It will be one heck of a task for me to stop these bloody waterworks. But I will try, for both our sakes.”
“That’s like my girl,” he grinned, flicking her nose. “The next thing I remember is just…a kind of nothingness. The darkness was back. But this time, I knew it as a friend. The shadows grabbed hold of me and pulled me up, out of my box. I could suddenly smell the earth, the leaves, the clean air…When I opened my eyes, I was sitting by the banyan tree, beside my own freshly dug grave. It was the most surreal feeling…”
He became quiet, staring contemplatively in the distance. She wondered how it would have felt; to sit by your own grave and know you are all alone. To accept that your life is over. To realize you are now invisible to everyone you knew. To watch time move on while you stay wrapped in the past. Is death a mercy compared to this hollow existence?
Riddhima shuddered, an odd chill snaking down her spine. Was it her sombre thoughts or was the classroom suddenly colder, darker? She scooted closer to Vansh, touching the black thread on her wrist for reassurance. It was still there. No ghosts would possess her for the time being.
And yet there was something…like an intangible change in the room. It no longer felt welcoming, like a sunny memory from her past. She realized how quiet it had become; the merry sounds of the children had completely faded away. It unsettled her in a way she couldn’t explain.
“A spirit is bound by where their human body finally rests.” Vansh broke the eerie silence. His dark eyes traced a swarm of birds in the orange sky. “They have anchors tying them to the physical world; places marked deeply with their essence, parts of their soul.”
Riddhima gaped at him, forgetting her anxiety for the moment. His words from earlier in the mansion came to her in a sharp moment of clarity.
The house contains my essence, fragments of my soul. It is one of my anchors to this world. He is burning it, burning me…
“Oh my God!” she exclaimed in horror. “Last night, you said-“
“My home was one of my anchors, Riddhima,” Vansh explained quietly. “My painting, the sketches, the garden, the grounds…they all contained my energy, fragments of my soul. When Kabir burned the Raisinghania mansion, he burned the strongest anchors I had. I suspect it gave him enough strength to hold on as a spirit, even after his shamanic blood ties broke.”
‘And it weakened you,’ her mind concluded in terror. “He couldn’t destroy your soul and so, Kabir destroyed your anchors to the living world… through me!”
“What does he want?!” she cried out, clutching his arm. “You are dead! The people who wronged him are dead. Why can’t he let you be? How can he hate you so much?”
“He wants to see me destroyed, Riddhima.” A muscle ticked in Vansh’s jaw. “When I was alive, he accused me of stealing his family. When he killed all of us, I still had my home. He tried his best to exorcise me out but I was too powerful as a spirit for anyone to succeed. And now…” Vansh glanced at her, smokey shadows stirring behind his eyes. “I fear he wants you.”
“Me?” She let out a shocked laugh. “What the hell?!”
“This is why I wanted that promise from you,” he continued, a despondent note entering his voice. “Kabir has been in your mind. He knows how important you are to me. Nothing will please him more than to hurt someone I…I care about.”
“This is ridicu-“
“Riddhima,” he cut in. “You promised to break the stone. Remember that promise, sweetheart. He will come for you the moment the thread’s magic breaks.”
“Vansh-“
He placed a finger over her mouth. “He will come…to hurt me through you. He will come for an insatiable revenge, and he will cross any lengths to get there. He knows this pretty little stone is my last anchor to this world…and so are you.”
Her mind went blank. She stared at him, not even noticing when he removed his finger from her lips. Vansh touched the blue sapphire around her neck, gazing at the star shaped pattern. “Who would have thought, hm?” he murmured. “This overpriced stone bought at a carnival would some day contain my soul?”
“And-and me?” she squeaked, her thoughts stuck on his earlier revelation. How the fuck did she become one of his only anchors?
He met her eyes, tugging on the chain around her neck. “You…” he drawled silkily, a sensuous twist to his lips. “You would be my heart breaker. I knew it from the first time you tried to steal my painting.”
“I-I did no such thing!” she protested half heartedly. “It was just lying there, with broken glass-” She trailed off at his amused expression, a warm flush creeping up her cheeks. How did he oscillate so easily between dire declarations and barefaced flirting? More importantly, why did she suck at it?
“Shut up,” she shook her head, hitting his shoulder playfully. “I need to think. Stop distracting me.” He leaned against the window, watching her pace the floor. “This stone is your anchor because your spirit chose it during a fight with Kabir,” she narrated slowly. “Sutapa said Ahilya’s granddaughter will know why, because it’s some priestess thing that shamans don’t know about. I am your anchor because we are blood tied. And you cannot break the blood bond because you have no magic…Wait.” She stopped, swivelling suddenly. “Does this mean I am Kabir’s anchor too?”
At his apologetic shrug, she burst out, “No! Just no. I am not anchoring that ghost to this world. I simply refuse. This is why we have legal agreements in the real world. No one can just-“
Vansh grabbed her shoulders, trying to swallow his laughter. “Darling, Kabir has many anchors. You said the old forest is his haunting ground? Well, now, so is my home! So is my land! And yes, you are his anchor too, but that’s the least of our worries.”
“How can you even say that?!” Her voice sounded high pitched to her own ears. What in heaven’s name had she done to deserve these many paranormal troubles?
He squeezed her shoulders, ignoring her shiver. “Because it just struck me that if it comes to a point where you have to break the stone, your soul may have to fight both of us.” He gazed into her eyes intently. “I don’t know the exact reason why I don’t have my magic. Is it the stone? Is it that I have become too weak? But I’m afraid that if this stone breaks and I still don’t have my magic, I won’t be able to release you from our blood bond. And if I don’t…then you remain blood tied to Kabir. How will you defeat two spirits fighting to survive?”
You are still blood bonded to two spirits.
Sutapa’s warning echoed through her mind.
It eats away at your own soul’s claim on your body.
Riddhima stepped away from Vansh’s icy touch. The longer she was bonded to two spirits, the sooner her soul’s strength would fade.
But to have to fight Vansh to live? Could fate be so cruel to them?
“Riddhima, this is why… you must break the stone, before it’s too late-“
A sudden loud ringing made them jump. She shrieked as something crashed on the ceiling, followed by the sound of muffled footsteps. Vansh pulled her behind him, looking around wildly. They could hear raucous voices, just outside the door. It reminded her of the time in the forest, when the posse of spirits had used her as a zebra crossing.
“That’s the school bell,” she yelled over the din. “It sounds like…like the students are leaving for their homes.”
They looked at each other in disbelief. The ringing subsided, making the pitter patter of feet on the ceiling even more prominent.
Suddenly, Vansh whirled around, rushing past her towards the window.
“What are you doing?” He was scanning the sky, as if the answers were written somewhere above.
“What time did your classes end?”
“Huh?”
Vansh glanced at her impatiently. “What time, Riddhima?”
“4 PM,” she answered, her brows furrowed. She inched closer to him, squinting at the bright orange sky. What was he watching up there? It looked perfectly normal to her.
“Are you sure?” His words sounded clipped. “Your classes ended at 4 PM in this classroom?”
“Oh, no. Not in this classroom,” she hurried to correct. “We had extra lectures till 6 in the evening in tenth grade. Mostly mathematics, sometimes science.”
“Fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.
“What? What is going on-“
“This dream is imitating your classroom schedule, Riddhima,” he explained, looking worried. “Time is moving faster than in the real world, which means it’s 6 PM now. The last of the students are going home.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means the dream is ending.” He grabbed her hand. “We have to leave now.”
“No,” she resisted in panic. “I will not go through any more doors! Vansh, stop-“
“Riddhima, we have no choice!” He growled, tugging her closer. “If we don’t leave, this place will disintegrate around us. Look around you!”
She followed his gaze, her mouth opening in horror. The benches at the end were gone, a blank dark space stretching from the floor to the ceiling like the end of the world. The adjacent walls were bleeding their dull white paint, the liquid vanishing before it reached the floor. She was aware of an approaching darkness, the one that thrived in gloom and dread.
“Listen to me,” Vansh cupped her cheeks, dragging her frightened gaze to his somber ones. “I have no idea what will happen next if we stay here. But I don’t have a good feeling about this. Perhaps, if we leave through that door, we can enter another dream together. There is a chance that I will be with you.”
“But-but if you won’t-“
She shrieked as the ceiling rumbled, cracks spreading like a spider’s web. Vansh held the door handle. “Hold my hand, Riddhima. Don’t let go. No matter how cold it gets.”
She obeyed, interlocking her fingers with his. They would be numb in a bit, but there was no way she was letting him go. She placed the other hand over his fingers on the handle. The racket outside the door seemed to be growing louder.
Bracing himself, he looked down at her terrified face. “If we are not together when we cross over, I will find you. No matter what it takes. I will find you. Do you understand me?”
She nodded mutely, her heart thrumming like a caged bird. The prospect of walking into another spirit dream was nerve wracking. What awaited them outside?
She tightened her hand over his. Whatever it was, they would deal with it together.
“Okay,” he exhaled, preparing to pull. “Here we go.”
The door opened with a loud groan. An empty corridor lay ahead, looking as innocent as it had in her school days. The voices quietened abruptly, giving way to an eerie silence once again.
As they stepped over the threshold, Riddhima felt her stomach lurch suddenly, like it would on a rollercoaster. She screamed, shutting her eyes tightly. The wind shrieked past her ears, as her body was propelled forward into the air. She covered her head, bracing instinctively for impact.
A moment later, she was thrown back against something sturdy. The sudden whiplash whooshed all the breath out of her. She whimpered, curling herself into a ball. Her hand felt icy, the chill spreading all the way to her arms.
She could hear people talking, the words muffled as if coming from a distance. The faint sound of music coupled with the vibration of a vehicle gave her pause. Was she back in the jeep with Rudra?
Slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking in confusion in the darkness. She was lying on the backseat of a vehicle. The windows were foggy, condensation running rapidly down the surface. She could tell it was night, the headlights doing little to break through the thick fog. A music system was humming a familiar Bollywood classic.
She suddenly felt an odd sense of déjà vu, like she had been here before…woken up to this before.
“Pyaar deewana hota hai, mastana hota hai,” a male voice was singing along with the chorus from the driver’s seat. “Har khushi se, har gham se, begana hota hai.”
“Stop it, dear,” a woman beside him was giggling. “Focus on the road. Goodness, look at all this fog! I told you we should have waited till morning. Geeta kept on insisting, but would you listen?”
“Shama kahe parwaane se, parey chala jaa,” the man belted another line, leaning towards her playfully. “Meri tarah jal jayega, yahan nahi aa…“
“Oh, this crazy man,” she crossed her arms, the smile of a beloved wife on her pale pink lips. “You just never listen-“
As Riddhima watched their familiar banter, her heart broke in a million pieces. Tears streamed down her cheeks silently. In this moment, her mind became quiet, thoughts leaving her alone with the people she loved the most. The ones she had never expected to see again.
She scooted forward near their seats, her eyes yearning to see their beloved faces. Time seemed to stand still as they landed on her father’s jovial face. He was singing one of his favourite songs, knocking off his spectacles in his enthusiasm. She turned to look at her mother, blushing and berating her husband at the same time.
“Maa,” Riddhima whispered brokenly, her hand reaching for her mother like she had since she was a child. It slipped through her body, just as she had known it would. Once again, she was the ghost, an invisible spectator in her dreams.
Riddhima sobbed, watching the mirage of her parents talking to each other. How she had missed her father’s loud bellied laughs, that twinkle in her mother’s kohl lined eyes.
“Oh, you wait, mister,” Suman Sharma was saying, taking out her phone. “Let me call Riddhu and tell her how you keep teasing me. She will set you right.”
“Hah! As if my daughter will ever take your side.”
“Really?! That’s some level of confidence. Let’s see, shall we?”
“Don’t trouble my child, yaar” Ashish Sharma admonished good naturedly. “It’s quite late. She must be fast asleep by now.”
Her mother dialed the keys, squinting at the screen. “You don’t know anything. Kids don’t sleep so early these days. Anyway, she had said that she wanted ‘all the deets’ from Vedika’s wedding, whatever that strange phrase means.”
“I still can’t believe she didn’t attend her cousin’s wedding,” he grumbled, switching off the music. Suman gave him a mock glare as she raised the phone to her ear.
Riddhima sighed, remembering the call she had missed that night. If only she had known…
“She isn’t picking up,” Suman muttered. Her husband gave her a snide glance, making her swell like an indignant hen. “Don’t look so pleased with yourself. My poor baby must be tired tonight. She has to maintain her grades to bag the best companies next year. Kusum was telling me how tough the hiring season is, absolutely cut throat. Her daughter still has nightmares from when-“
“Riddhu doesn’t need to work so hard, my dear,” Ashish cut in, looking grim. “You know I wanted her to take a gap year after her 12th grade. She worked herself to the bone to top the boards! But you still refused to allow her that break. Then began those bloody entrance exams and another race to the top! Now she is in the best college in the state, but instead of enjoying her student years, you are encouraging her to spend all her time studying!”
“What is so wrong about that?” sniffed Suman in annoyance. “She wants to study. I am not forcing her. My Riddhu is a good girl; she doesn’t party, has no bad habits, wakes up at the crack of dawn everyday-“
“Are you serious, Suman?” he snapped. “Is that any life for a young girl? I don’t mean she has to party and drink, but she is missing every joy of a youngster’s life! She doesn’t go on trips, has no hobby, attends almost every class, skips all family events, barely has friends-“
“Oh my, you are speaking as if her former friends were gems!” Suman threw up her hands dramatically. “Don’t you remember that Aditi case some years back? How sad my child was when that girl killed herself! She could barely focus on her entrance exams. Thankfully, she gathered herself together and cracked the top institution. You know, the other day, Mamta was telling me about another girl in her building who jumped off the balcony. Her parents are desperate to sell but no one wants to buy that flat now. I would say it’s good our girl focuses on her studies. She doesn’t have the time to waste on getting depressed and think about these stupid things!”
Her father became quiet, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. Riddhima knew that expression. Silence was how Ashish Sharma had dealt with his explosive anger. She looked from one angry parent to the other, wondering how often they had fought over her lack of a social life.
“I just want her to be happy,” Ashish stated softly into the silence. “She shouldn’t just push through life like it’s a mountain she must conquer. I want her to experience what it means to be truly alive; to have meaningful relationships with other people, make some memories to look back on when she is old. Discover her passion and let it fill the empty spaces of her heart. Travel to beautiful places that leave an indelible mark on her. And if she wants to, she can fall in love…so that I finally have some boys to scare away from my daughter!”
Suman chuckled, despite herself. “You are way too idealistic for your own good, dearest,” she said, affection lacing her voice. “She is a smart, hard working girl. Her efforts will go a long way for her independence. She won’t wait for a Prince to sweep her off her feet, to come and save her. Our girl will make her own way through life. Mark my words. It’s a good thing. You will see.”
“Perhaps…I hope you are right… She does, after all, have your trademark stubbornness. I think Riddhu is like you in a lot of ways,” he sighed, giving her a lopsided smile. “Excluding the cartload of kitty party friends, of course.”
“You are too bad,” she huffed. “Always teasing me-“
And then the night lit up. Her mother screamed, a visceral cry of fear that she had never heard before.
Riddhima looked up just in time to see a bright light fill her vision. She shielded her head, backing into the seat. There was a loud bang, the screech of brakes, the sound of glass shattering…Her mother’s screams had faded into the night.
Riddhima was falling, the impact of the collision jarring her to the bones. As if in slow motion, she reached for something, anything to hold onto…but her hands grabbed only air, opening and closing lazily.
Her eyes closed of their volition, as a cocoon of softness enveloped her, like her mother’s arms rocking her to sleep.
Falling.
Falling.
Darkness.
* * *